133: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life - Cognitive Distortions with Dr. David Burns

133: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life - Cognitive Distortions with Dr. David Burns

Mar 14, 2018 |

The way that you think creates the way you feel. If you have great thoughts then no problem, but if your thoughts are a little distorted, then...look out! Wouldn’t it be great if there were an easy way to look at your thoughts...and change them? As it turns out - there is! In today’s conversation we are going to show you how to identify the kinds of thoughts that lead to depression, anxiety, shame, anger, and self-doubt - and talk about the process that you can go through to eliminate those thoughts for good. Our guest is Dr. David Burns, author of the acclaimed bestseller Feeling Good and one of the leading popularizers of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). He is also the creator of TEAM therapy, which takes CBT to the next level. Today, David Burns and I are tackling the topic of “cognitive distortions” - the messed-up thinking that can get you stuck in negative emotions. By the end of today’s episode you’ll not only be able to spot the times when your thinking gets distorted, but you’ll know what to do about it so that you can “feel good”.

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131: How Love is Evolving You - Evolutionary Relationships with Patricia Albere

131: How Love is Evolving You - Evolutionary Relationships with Patricia Albere

Feb 27, 2018 |

When you start a relationship, something special becomes possible, something unique that the world has never known before. However - how do you figure out what that “something special” is? And how can your love be a vehicle for actually helping us evolve? This episode is an invitation to you to step into an experience of “shared consciousness” - what happens when you’re able to explore the space created between you and another person. Our guest is Patricia Albere, founder of the Evolutionary Collective and author of Evolutionary Relationships: Unleashing the Power of Mutual Awakening. Patricia has been guiding others on this path for years, exploring the edges of how consciousness shifts when two (or more) people step into it together.

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130: On Valentine's Day and Uncertainty in Your Relationship - with Neil Sattin

130: On Valentine's Day and Uncertainty in Your Relationship - with Neil Sattin

Feb 20, 2018 |

Does Valentine's Day create pressure, or problems, for you? How do you get past the expectation and celebrate love - in your own way - without falling victim to the cliché? And also - on a separate but equally important note - how do you handle uncertainty, in your life, and in your relationship? In today's episode we're going to cover strategies for successfully navigating Valentine's Day whether you're single or in a relationship - and we're also going to reveal our top 3 ways to deal with uncertainty, and transform it into something positive. Plus Neil Sattin reveals a bonus "4th way" to use uncertainty in your relationship to create connection with your partner.

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129: Unlocking the Secrets of The Smart Couple - with Jayson Gaddis

129: Unlocking the Secrets of The Smart Couple - with Jayson Gaddis

Feb 14, 2018 |

How do you build an indestructible relationship? It’s all about how you welcome the challenges, magnify the good times, and build a web of support. Sometimes that’s easier said than done, though - because the way to do those things wasn’t something that you were taught in school. In today’s episode, we welcome Jayson Gaddis, fellow relationship coach, founder of the Relationship School, and host of The Smart Couple podcast. Jayson shares some of his favorite relationship recipes, so that you can not only collect the right ingredients for your relationship, but also learn the unique way to cook them up into something that will serve your relationship for years to come.

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128: Practical Masculinity: Beyond Stereotypes - with Shana James and Neil Sattin

128: Practical Masculinity: Beyond Stereotypes - with Shana James and Neil Sattin

Feb 3, 2018 |

How do you embody masculinity in a way that creates more connection and passion in your relationship? How do you avoid the stereotypes, while still getting the benefit of positive polarity in your relationship? Is there even a point to talking about “masculine” vs. “feminine” (and if so, what is it?)? Today’s episode is a conversation with Shana James, men’s coach and host of the Man Alive podcast. We take apart the myths of what it means to be a “real man” - and explore how you can get beyond what you’re “supposed to” be, uncover the true you, and bring all of you to your relationship. Learn how to break out of the box in a way that keeps you connected to the people who matter most.

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127: Peter Levine - Building Resiliency in Yourself, Your Relationship, and Your Children

127: Peter Levine - Building Resiliency in Yourself, Your Relationship, and Your Children

Jan 30, 2018 |

One of the most important things that you can develop in your life, and in your relationship, is your resilience - the way that you bounce back from the challenges that life throws your way. How do you recover in a way that leaves you even stronger, more connected, more inspired than before? In today’s episode, we’re talking with Dr. Peter Levine, creator of Somatic Experiencing, author of the bestseller Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma, and co-author, with Maggie Kline, of Trauma-Proofing Your Kids. Peter and I explore exactly how to build your own resiliency - and how to also help your partner, and your kids become more resilient. 

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125: Developing the "Yes Brain" in Yourself and Your Kids - with Dan Siegel

125: Developing the "Yes Brain" in Yourself and Your Kids - with Dan Siegel

Jan 13, 2018 |

When you’re in a “Yes” brain state, everything seems possible - you’re courageous, resilient, and creative. When you’re in a “No” brain state it’s nearly impossible to learn, grow, or interact in a positive way with others. This yes/no brain state impacts everything you do - how you meet the world, and, if you have children, how you show up as a parent. So how do you cultivate a “Yes” brain state in yourself? How do you teach the children in your life to recognize the signs of being in a “No” brain state - and, even better, show them how to shift back into a “Yes” brain? Today we’re talking with Dr. Dan Siegel, founder of interpersonal neurobiology and co-author (along with Tina Payne Bryson) of the new book “The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child.” His strategies for understanding your own reactivity will transform your relationships and your parenting. You can also help the children in your life understand their own emotional world, and show them how to come back online after big emotions get the best of them.

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124: Jealousy - How to Deal and Heal

124: Jealousy - How to Deal and Heal

Jan 9, 2018 |

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Does jealousy affect you in your relationship? Or has it impacted you in the past? One thing is for sure, jealousy has a destructive impact on any relationship, leaving both partners feeling unsafe and under attack. So - how do you know what's really going on when one of you is jealous? And how do you get to the other side, so that you can experience a relationship where you can experience the freedom to be yourself AND the safety of a secure partnership? Whether you're getting jealous, or on the receiving end of your partner's jealousy - this episode will lead you through the steps of discovering what's really going on - and how to reconnect in a healthy way.

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123: Pleasure is the Measure: The Science of Sex and Desire - with Emily Nagoski

123: Pleasure is the Measure: The Science of Sex and Desire - with Emily Nagoski

Jan 1, 2018 |

How do you separate fact from fiction when it comes to creating and sustaining sexual desire? In this episode of Relationship Alive, our special guest is Emily Nagoski, author of the New York Times bestseller "Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life." Her work has been cited by both John Gottman and Esther Perel as a must-read for understanding how desire works, and how to nurture a sexual connection over the long term with your partner. Emily Nagoski and I dispel some modern-day myths about sexuality, and then we reveal some of the new science to help you create more pleasure in your life. And, as Emily says, "Pleasure is the Measure!"

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122: The Science of Empathy and How to Keep Yourself Clear

122: The Science of Empathy and How to Keep Yourself Clear

Dec 26, 2017 |

We're all empathic. What this means is that you can catch emotions and states-of-being like a cold. But if you don't know that what you're feeling isn't actually yours, just something you caught from someone else, then you could be in trouble. Wouldn't it be nice to know, with as much certainty as possible, that your all-important feelings and beliefs actually come from within you, and represent your own truth - instead of just being something that you picked up along the way? In this episode we're going to talk about the science of empathy, as well as two quick, powerful ways to keep yourself clear.

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Podcast Reviews

  • Apologies are hard…
    December 13, 2024 by kaandcoco from Canada

    Thank you for the guidance on apologies. Our Mother died recently and the family dynamics have intensified! Triggers going off for everyone. Old wounds festering. I am and know many other “un-apologizers”. It has rarely seemed safe or sincere to apologize with in our family. It’s so difficult for me to sort through apologizing when I am not ready or simply don’t feel I should or can with sincerity. I see now it can be helpful to break it up into parts where possible. So important to begin de-escalating a conflict and the hurts and resentments that can build in the time following a real or perceived slight or conflict. Hopefully enough to create a space to return to when I have a better understanding of what dynamics are in play in myself. Once de-escalated I can agree to revisiting the situation and subsequently reassure myself and others that I value coming to a resolution. Hopefully avoiding or minimizing further misunderstandings in future. Great topic! Thank you

  • So happy I found your show!
    August 30, 2024 by DvGuts from United States

    Wonderful content. Please continue - you have so much valuable, beautiful information to share!

  • !!!
    June 9, 2024 by geminilibraleo from United States

    Glad this show is back!

  • What a great listen!
    October 25, 2022 by Claribelleee from Philippines

    This show is so real and authentic! Love the chemistry of the hosts of the guests!

  • Great show!
    September 4, 2022 by Kingxxelo from United States

    I listen to this every time I'm struggling with something .